MRS DOUBTFIRE WAS the second biggest grosser film of
1993 only behind raptors with rage in the park and originally the iflm was
going to be shot in Chicago However, two new television shows
the production team eventually went with San Francisco.
Nominated for most offensive use of transgender studies
Least supported sexual transvestitism in a homo phobic horrorfilm Here’s the keys
Sally Field tells me not noticing I’m her penis husbando.
Don’t get up. I want her to tie you up , my daughter says,
In the midst of playing cowboys and baristas.
You know, if he comes any closer
I might be able to get that gun, my son playing
the cowboy says to me.
Don’t get any ideas.
I nearly killed a guard escaping from prison in Montana. Then I took his white Volkswagen Karmann Ghia.
To pass the time I wrote the dates of all the great sushi
meals I enjoyed on the side of the car.
I ordered sushi for the first time as a free man
exactly sixmonths after my mother’s death. She was killed a day before Halloween. Then I took
a man’s wallet from a Derby show on 2 March. Then I ran into you. Now you are all tied up in the wilderness of my mercy.
My son put on a brave front: I’m a Cowboy okay, I don’t want any trouble barista. This is my friend Mrs. Doubtfire, we’re trying to get home.
My daughter pushed down her foot over my back: Last Christmass I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away in that epasode last week on thenews about me, the police
were wondering how I could see in the dark. They did not openly state this, but implied this by saying my eyes sailed brilliantly and I could see silowets on the horizon.
You have untill next fall to dig yourself out of this situation before you go- go freeze to death. If you take me dancing tonight the coffees are on me.
Though a bonafide commercial hit with families and lonely seniors many never saw the flimsy morality play that hung noose-like around the plots central insanity character.
Sure, MRS DOUBTFIRE WAS the second biggest grosser film
of 1993 only behind raptors with rage
in the park and originally
the film was going to be shot in Chicago then the production
team eventually went with San Francisco yet
if one studies the pain and manipulation theories not so invisible in the final product
one can’t help but fathom the moral bankruptcy
coded within each miserable frame.
This is the Zodiac speaking. In a deleted scene you may have never witnessed, I would like to clarify some information you all have wrong
On the 4th of July I did not open the car door.
The window was rolled down all ready. I could barely
make out the activities from inside of Kinkos, but I dist inctly recall the boy (he must have been 14 or so) was origIonaly
sitting in the front seat when I began printing out my resume
across the street at Kinkos double parked on Bloor Street just
east of Brunswick.
The boy wore a light blue tshirt and drank
grape soda (I later found it half-full
on the passenger’s seat) while fiddling with the FM radio.
After failing to remove the worthless stereo, he then moved into the backseat, took all my groceries and ran off.
When I hung the payphone up the damn thing began to
ring & that drew attention to me +
my car momentarily suspending my vocatIonal momentum.
After printing my resume I faxed my resume to the employm
ent agency in hopes of reuniting with my estranged family by
After my makeover the tension was set.
Would my wife SALLY FIELDS recognize
me as a distorted, fattened, feminized stranger charged with taking
care of her children while she finds my replacement in the real world?
We won least supported sexual transvestitism My son yells at my daughter, still in character: Please come back, we gave you everything we had!
It will be okay, I tell my son, looking at him through my warlock-approved bifoculs, my false teeth feeling like a splint lodged stiff
against my mouth bone.
I just hope my wife is not out on a date with the future James Bond.
Nathaniel G. Moore is a Toronto author and editor. He is the author of Let’s Pretend We Never Met and Wrong Bar. He just completed a book of poetry called This Is The Zodiac Speaking.