At A Loss

In my dreams, you hold a box
but refuse to open it for me.
“Why?” I always ask.
You never answer.
Instead, you ball your hands
into fists. Rage burns crimson
on your face. And you scream –

You scream about the shattered glass,
the unseen army
marching towards you, and all of the things
you shouldn’t want
but will have anyway.
You scream about the yesterday that’s gone,
the hell that is today,
and the boat to tomorrow
that you no longer want to board.

You scream into the wild and inside
my head, begging,
choking on tears.
I reach out to smooth your hair –
you lash out
as if to strike me.
A lesson learned again: I must
keep my hands and words
to myself
as you carry on.
What else can I do when
the help I offer is like
crumpled paper
you’ll only throw away?

Eventually you sulk away
and leave the box on the ground.
I wait, and as you disappear
into the horizon, a thread in me
unravels;
I want you, not
the python you’ve become,
to come home – but
even the dreamer in me knows
there’s no boat to yesterday.

At the end of this dream,
I always open the box –
to find it empty.

Sara Letourneau lives in southeastern Massachusetts, where she works as a full-time technical editor and thrives as a full-time music lover, poet, and overall admirer of creativity. Since August 2008, she has also been a freelance reviewer for the Sonic Cathedral webzine, which covers female-fronted rock and metal bands. Sara’s poetry has appeared in Underground Voices and the Curry Arts Journal, as well as the anthology More Great Writing by People You’ve Never Heard Of. Visit Sara’s website/blog at http://saraletourneau.wordpress.com for updates on all of her projects.

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8 Responses to At A Loss

  1. Pingback: Two Poems Published Today at The Eunoia Review « Sara Letourneau's Official Website & Blog

  2. Paul Tom Norton says:

    Well Sara, this to me was a poem about a young lady that is crying in sadness and hoping her life will change. She goes on to wish that her man will change and he would think more of her then he does of himself, but I believe her hope of change is in vain. This man is a cruel person and could be a violent person at times. Sara I’m not much for writing or reading poems, but this I think is very good. Most, or maybe not a lot of writers, write about things around them, or things that are happening in their lives., I hope this poem is not reflecting on your life, if it is, you my friend need to free your self from this person that in the poem. My true thoughts…

  3. Hi Paul! No need to worry about me. The poem is based only on emotions I was feeling at the time I wrote it. In no way does it depict a current relationship / situation / experience I may be in. Thanks for your concern, though!

    • Paul Tom Norton says:

      Thank heaven for that, because the person in the poem did not look as if she was going to end what she had, she was always looking for hope.

  4. zane richardson says:

    Twas very insighful, reminding me someone I may have almost known, but was able to escape before being caught in the web of fright sure to come!

  5. Pingback: #1000Speak: On Writing Poetry From A Place Of Compassion | Sara Letourneau's Official Website & Blog

  6. Pingback: What’s Making Me Happy: December 2017 & January 2018 | Sara Letourneau's Official Website & Blog

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