Grief clock

After you died / we covered all the clocks in the house / I could not bear the sound of a minute disappeared / I began to tell time by holding my wrist up to my ear / I heard everything and everyone go by / I heard the sea’s ebb / and ma’s favourite plate growing the finest fault line / the next time she took it out / it fell neatly into pieces.

I heard what is / and what will be / I heard the monsoon / delayed by a day / beating her beloved roses into the ground / I heard you / a million miles away / writing and rewriting letters to say you are sorry / I thought I heard the postman bring your letter / but it was just the bearers carrying a body from 5 houses away /

I heard ma forget / take out the plate / I heard them both collapse / I do not move / by pulse, I wiretapped my world.

Karuna Chandrashekar is a psychotherapist practising in New Delhi, India.

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