I’m going to put the word Dadaism in the Title

Gamma rays are eating the atmosphere as my computer screen eats code and spits out the Urban Dictionary word of the day.
As I learn a new synonym for “penis pump,”
I wonder absentmindedly about Shakespeare, and before making a connection to the advent of words, focus a little too long on the silly pants he’s always wearing in my mind’s eye.
I sometimes wonder what Gandhi would think about yoga pants,
and why “Free Bird” got played alongside “I Believe I Can Fly” in a non-ironic way at the funeral I went to a month ago.
And why people die, when they are still busy being someone’s husband, or father
and why the hell frosted tips came around in the 90s, and when they are coming back
and if Justin Timberlake is part of the secret society that uses propaganda to influence people through entertainment.
And if anyone will understand I was joking about the secret society, but that I sometimes do believe in the concept of conspiracies.
And if this is all just Chaos
and we are just created to grow up and die, or sometimes die before we grow up,
why do I care so much about who I eat breakfast with for the next 0-50 years?
And I wonder if Jesus liked the way sandals felt, or they were the only things that were practical
and if geometrical shapes that occur naturally in nature actually have different energies.
And if my base chakra will ground me
and also if it will allow me to last longer in bed.
And if I’m the only one that kind of gets turned on in a rainstorm
and if I’m not, if they will just eat breakfast with me sometimes.

Caleb Alexander is a current MFA student at Lindenwood University. He recently moved from the South to Providence, RI, in a move that has baffled everyone he’s come in contact with. “Isn’t it warm there?” they say. It is warm there. It is.

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