“You have to pay your electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that’s all.” – Cheryl Strayed
Did you ever throw things at cars late at night
On the highway, like I did, bad already written in me
Like a curse, a course for the river of my life
In someone’s hands and they are crushing me, such a small heart
I never knew how many pieces there were until I was among them
Scattered on the floor
Did you ever need reminding of where you came from
And how the place you came from was not all of you?
Southern winters were all cold and no snow
That is; you felt the pain of the season
But never saw its beauty, its muscle shine down
Like heaven on your shoulder some sacred night
All I got was a black eye for loving this girl named Karen
She broke, not my heart, but my idea of a heart
Turns out the heart is much bigger than we have room for at that age
The age where we are becoming something we will never get used to
The age of dying light and a deep, deep darkness
Looks like a river in us but it is also glorious
How we are soon to make it ours.
James Diaz is the author of This Someone I Call Stranger (Indolent Books, 2018) and founding editor of the literary arts & music journal Anti-Heroin Chic. His work can be found in Occulum, Bone & Ink Press, Moonchild Magazine and Philosophical Idiot. He lives in upstate New York.