Masturbation

i map the waterhole
in my body

for the thirsty animal
my mother’s exorcist
chained with a chaplet
to the sculpture of a crucifix

a teal-eyed thing misnamed ‘desire
serpentine, & slippery—
too slippery to be bound

my fingers—they grope,
questing for the vale
ripe with hallelujahs

where ripples shimmer
from beneath my skin,

through my blood vessels,
like viruses that are breeds of wildfire,  s p r e a d i n g
e vapor a t i n g  a mass 60% water
never enough to satisfy lust

thrice, mother’s eyes witnessed,
through a chink in my door,
how this animal reached for the apple of its eye,
ate it, & through its nostrils, let out
a sigh to conflate with the last notes
of a hymn on the stereo

it’s 11:35 a.m
i’m counting the danger signs
i’ve hurdled to convert
the taste of sin

into 250 mg of sleeping pills.

Martins Deep (he/him) is a Nigerian poet, artist, and currently a student of Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. His works deeply explores the African experience of the boy/girl child. His creative works have appeared, or are forthcoming on FIYAH, The Roadrunner Review, Covert Literary Magazine, Barren Magazine, Cream City Review, Mineral Lit Mag, Agbowó Magazine, Surburban Review, Crow & Cross Keys, FERAL, Jet Fuel Review, Kalopsia Literary Journal, Whale Road Review, Kalahari Review, and elsewhere. He loves jazz, adores Bethel Music and fantasizes about reincarnating as an owl. He tweets: @martinsdeep1.

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