Things that I will tell you in the middle of the pouring rain

I lied to you when I stepped on the airplane saying that
I would never miss you: the same season in the window and the old
branch that never loads enough cherries and the moisture
that haunts my skin forever.
I was heading to another city, the stars cloaked it like a cloud.
I lied to you when I said I won’t be afraid of
living on a ground that doesn’t belong to me. I ate
sandwiches on the plane, now they churned
in my throat. I couldn’t even swallow them smoothly like I would do
in the morning waking in your pearled skyline.
I heard that the rain was pouring down to you in the night I left.
I knew the flood was killing lives in Henan and now I worry
you may be suffocated by the same water.
I am hanging in the middle of the sky, three thousand miles away from
you. I could do nothing.
I lean closer to the window, imagining the rain dropping on my face. I wonder
if you are afraid when I am not here with you in the wind and the water.
I used to be there, listening to the wind the rain the thunder for a whole night.
Neither of us was scared because we knew we were going to survive under
each other’s breath.
Now I am shrouded by the dust and the light.
I close my eyes in the air
at a height that I could easily touch the moon
but not the ground I place my root in.

Shi Yang Su is an international student who is currently studying creative writing. She is a firm believer in “show, don’t tell”. Her favorite poet is Sharon Olds. Her poems have been published in Antimatter Dreams, Neologism Poetry Journal, Across the Margin, Misery Tourism, CERASUS Magazine, Rat’s Ass Review, Down in the Dirt, MORIA, Dreich Magazine, YAWP, and Trouvaille Review, and her poems are forthcoming on The Bitchin’ Kitsch and Sledgehammer Lit.

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